Dear Bradley James

I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts all the time. I miss every single thing about you. I miss just being with you. We never had to do anything extravagant. We could just sit at your house doing nothing, and i loved it. I loved how even though you were extremely sick, you always asked me how I was doing when I came over to scratch your legs. You were the most selfless person I have ever met. I would be okay with being half the person you were. I'm pretty sure you were the most loved person I have ever met. You had this air about you that people just fell instantly in love with. There are so many things that I miss/remember about the time we got to spend together. I miss your love for the pussy cat dolls. I will always remember you singing snoop dogg's part. I miss your intense dance moves. I miss driving to dutch and rocking out to timbaland and jack's manequinn. I miss watching trashy VH1 shows (or VHS shows like your dad always calls it for some weird reason). We used to spend hours watching it, I don't know why. I miss your quotings of "Can I have your Number". I miss spending hours sitting on the rocks at Mary S. Young Park. I miss our backstreet boys obssession. I miss sitting by the fire at haggens. I miss our long trips to radiation full of lots of dancing/singing/laughing. I miss our talks. I remember founding the cove, that is my first memory of you. we weren't very close, but that was the beginning. I miss your obssession with your hair. I miss sitting in the massage chairs at fred meyers for hours just talking. I remember muscianship class, all of our amazing projects, and the backstreet boy video that came out of it. I miss getting random texts that didn't make sense because you didn't know how to use T9, and you refused to fix mistakes. I miss going to Clackamas Park, and leaving soon after because the people were kinda sketchy. I miss sitting on the couch at coastals. I miss driving around in pops. I miss our gossiping sessions. I miss going to the park. I miss playing mafia. I miss your craziness. I miss our sparadic dance parties. I remember having the biggest crush on you in high school haha (the cat's out of the bag). I remember the amazing scavanger hunt you made for me when you asked me to prom. I remember the amazing time we had at prom and how every girl was so jealous because you were the funnest date ever. I remember how everytime we would drive at night you would almost hit a possum, and then you would laugh and laugh because that was my unfortunate nickname in college. I miss going to our favorite coffee shop at OHSU. I miss making t-shirts. I remember our weekend in Corvallis, and singing to your ipod before we went to sleep and watching the terminator. I miss when you called me everytime you were drunk to inform me that I was mormon. I miss making videos with you. I miss watching America's Next Top Model. I miss 80s movie night. I miss driving all the way to haggens just for sour candy. I miss never having a plan, but every day we had fun together. I miss driving with a cup on your car. I miss your laugh. I miss scratching your legs. I even miss rubbing your feet. I know that there are thousands of memories that aren't on here, but it would take me weeks to write every single one of them down. I am so glad your not in pain anymore, but I will always miss you and love you with all my heart. I cherish the opportunity that I had to become so close to you Bradley James, I will be grateful for that for the rest of my life.

Bradley James Ventura September 18th 1987-June 23rd 2009

My best friend passed away this morning. He was diagnosed with cancer Valentines Day 2008. After a month of being in agonizing pain he passed away peacefully this morning. It is a blessing. He doesn't have to suffer anymore. He is in heaven. I like to think that he is with Allison and they are catching up, and Allison is thanking him for taking care of me while I went through her death, and she's throwing in a missionary lesson or two. I'm not exactly sure why two of my greatest friends have been taken away from me so early, but I guess I just have sit back and be grateful that I had the opportunity to know them at all. They are the greatest people ever. They both taught me a lot. Ask anyone either of them had ever met, and they will tell you that they loved them too. But I got the special privilege of being their best friends. Being the person that got to know them the best. The person that got the majority of their time. Why am I so blessed? Though I know this, it's still been rough. It hasn't been 24 hours since brad passed, and I already miss him so much it hurts every part of my body. He was my life the last year and a half. Yesterday as I rubbed his feet as he slept I had this overwhelming feeling of pure love for him, I'm glad he's not suffering anymore, but I hope he knew how much I loved him. I hope that he always knew that.

I love you Bradley James.