It's done!!!!

So the big secret project I have been working on is done, and because Kristin and I were so excited about it the recipients have already received it!!! For the past two to three months Kristin Ventura and I have been working with Laurie Brady (Allison's mom) on making a quilt of all of brad's clothes that we loved and that reminded us of him. Kristin and I cut out all of the squares, and tied the quilt while Laurie did the sewing (we didn't trust ourselves with that part, and we would probably be sewing tell next christmas). It was a really cool experience. We had so much fun doing it, lots of hours spent reminiscing about our favorite stories about Brad. We finished it last night, and immediately went and gave it to Jim and Dyan. They absolutely love it, and I am so glad. I was worried it would make them sad, but it had the exact opposite affect. They couldn't stop smiling. They were beaming with joy.

recent events

White Christmas: Friday night I went to the High School's production of White Christmas. At Brad's memorial service his family asked people to donate money to the theater program instead of sending flowers, a lot of money was donated, and it was put into this production. The play was dedicated to Brad. It was really neat. A lot of people came to support the play and everyone who were friends/family of brad sat together filling up a big chunk of the auditorium. The play was really good. I enjoyed it a lot.

My Birthday Party: Jacque threw me an amazing birthday party. tons of people came and we played games like eye to eye, twister, and MAFIA.

Eryn and Brooke were there

Michael Gibb was there
Nathan Harold Doty was there
my favorite 80s enthusiasts Kristin and John were there
and of course Jacque. she made me a delicious cake


Thanksgiving:
my parents came home for the week. It was fun to spend time with them. We went to Dana and Chad's house for thanksgiving dinner. It was delicious and very entertaining. There were multiple photoshoots directed by chad that had me laughing so hard I almost peed my pants.

photo shoot 1

photo shoot 2

photo shoot 3 haha

Halloween

So I rarely celebrate Halloween. I don't really know why I don't, but I have never really gotten into it. Well this year I celebrated it. double time. I went to a costume dance on friday, and another one on saturday. I was a hippie the first night

and I wore my grandma's prom dress the second night
I had so much fun both nights!!! I think I'm going to start celebrating halloween every year!!

the beginning of fall

So it is fall. The weather is colder. The leaves are beautiful reds, yellows, and oranges. oh and I am in school again. It's exciting stuff.

I'm taking three classes, two of those have 3 hour labs attached to them. I have class 5 days a week. I'm taking Physics, Anatomy, and Algebra. I'm remembering how much I love algebra, which is nice.

Living alone has been better than I expected. I miss my family of course, but it is kind of relaxing living on my own, and it's nice to get to know my little brother better. He makes me laugh so much. He sometimes refuses to go out in public with me because he makes me cackle. I'm not sure why but I cannot quite my laugh. I always make a scene. It's embarrassing.

I have a new favorite show. GLEE!!! It's pretty much amazing and makes my week!! I know that sounds lame, but watch it and you will understand. The music makes my life. I get jealous every week because I would give my right arm to be able to be in a choir that sang music like that. love love love.
I'm starting operation spice up my life. It is more difficult than it sounds. I have been trying new things, and when I would normally find any excuse to get out of going somewhere I say "Yes, I would love to do that" instead. Some of the new things I've been doing are first quilting. I am making a quilt. I can't give the details of the quilt quite yet because I don't know who reads my blog, and I don't want to give any surprises away, but as soon as I'm able to share I will. I've also started scrap booking. I love it. I'm making a brad scrap book right now, and it is my pride and joy.

I went to a masquerade ball two weekends ago, this isn't so unusual, I go to dances all the time. The unusual thing was I actually dressed up for the theme. I rarely do that, and I'm not sure why, it was a lot of fun. Jacque and I made amazing masks, and it was just all around fun fun fun. This weekend i am going to two halloween dances. I'm going to be a hippie. Pictures will be coming!!!

Post Falls extravaganza

I just got back from 4 days in post falls visiting my parents. It was tons of fun. Here are some pics from the exciting long weekend

changes

life feels really weird right now. lots of things are very different. First off I pretty much live alone now. My mom moved to post falls on sunday, so it's just Kyle and I. I work mornings, and Kyle works nights, so it's pretty much like I have a 3 bedroom 3 bath house to myself. This as you might guess is pretty intensely lonely, but there is one perk.. I can do whatever I want whenever I want mostly I can listen to my music at full blast and dance like there is no tomorrow. It's actually really great. haha. I think of it as therapy really. Who can be sad when you are dancing like a fool to ABBA and Michael Jackson?? Not me! Another big change that is going to come to pass in a few weeks is I'm going to start school again. I'm not nervous about school at all, I'm just nervous about the fact that it's a new school year, and it's going to be so different. Last year I would go to classes, and immediately afterwards I would head over to Brad's house and have homework parties. Which consisted of 15 minutes of homework, 1 hour of VH1 reality tv, and 2 hours of gossiping haha. There is not going to be any skipping of class to go out to coffee/hot chocolate. There isn't going to be any random zoo trips when we had a day off. There isn't going to be any trips to the pumpkin patch. He's not going to walk to my house when we are snowed in. There isn't going to be any America's Next Top Model parties. It's all going to be really strange and lonely, and in all honesty I'm terrified. But hopefully I can be strong! All I know is this year everyone I love better stay safe!! It's been three years since I have had a year without tragedy and I hope this year doesn't throw me any surprises, cause I need a rest!

thank you

so in the last two months....okay who am I kidding in the last two and a half years I have gone through some pretty intense stuff, and I know I haven't always gone through it with a smile on my face. Sometimes I can be a lot to deal with. My emotions are always right on the surface and you never know when I'm going to laugh, cry, scream, or pass out from pure exhaustion. I realize that I am a lot to take, and I do my best to try to make things easier on the people I care about, but sometimes it's just so hard to put out the effort. The last couple days I have realized that there are people in my life that I should truly be grateful for because they have stuck with me through thick and thin. They are the people that no matter what I know that they will stick with me until I am better. I know that I have a ways to go, and I know they know that too, but I will never once hesitate to call them if I need them because I know they will be there.

my mom. she probably sees the worst, but she still loves me and I love her for not sending me to the loony bin.

My best friend Kayla Don. Where do I even begin?? She is the most amazing person ever, and I don't know what I would do without her. She is my connection to sanity. She always keeps me grounded. She calls me and texts me constantly so that I never have to be totally alone with my thoughts. She travels all the way to Oregon to see me and to make sure I am okay. I love her so much and I am so glad that she is my best friend

My little brothers are the best. They buy me pepsi when I'm having a bad day, and they spend a lot of time just spending time with me. That's all a big sister could ask for really.

You might not be able to tell who is in this picture but it's brad, me, kristin, tim, and john. Kristin, Tim, and John have really been great friends to me. When Brad passed away I was really worried that I was not going to be a part of that group anymore because my tie to them was gone. But they have welcomed me with open arms, and always make sure that I am apart of anything that they are doing. It's really nice, because I don't feel as alone in this process because they were the people there with me through everything that happened.


Lisa. I love your guts. that's all I have to say about that
Emily Beech. I'm going to miss this girl. I'm going to miss going to movies, and getting slurpees and our long talks. Emily and I haven't been friends for very long, but she has been a really good friend to me this summer, and I'm very grateful for everything she does.Jacque. She's my escape. She is the one that takes me out and makes me do things that are fun. When I feel like just staying at home and feeling sorry for myself she takes me out and I always have fun.

There are a lot of other people too, and don't be offended if I don't have my picture with you, like Michelle who stays up tell 1 in the morning texting me when I can't sleep. Or Heather and Sammi. I love all of you, and I just wanted you guys to know that your acts of kindness towards me do not go unnoticed, and that I am so grateful that I have all of you in my life

101 things that make me, me

This was actually a lot of fun. I didn't think I could come up with 101 things about myself, but I actually did!

1. I am 21 years old
2. I was born in Creston British Columbia
3. I live in Oregon City, OR
4. I love my grandparents. They are two very special people. They have done so much for me as I have grown up.
5. If I could hire someone to do something for me, it would be to do my laundry. For some reason I hate doing my laundry
6. my specialty is spaghetti. yummm
7. I love taking pictures. I'm not very good at writing in a journal, I figure taking hundreds of pictures of every event in my life is the next best thing
8. I dance and sing in the grocery store
9. I am the oldest of three kids. I have two younger brothers
10. When I hear a new song that I love, I listen to it over and over again. Sometimes I will listen to the same song all week long
11. When I was in elementary school I loved NSYNC. Now that I am an adult I love the Backstreet Boys
12. my favorite color is orange because it is such a happy color
13. I didn't get my ears pierced until I was 19 years old. Now I have a love for buying earrings
14. Slurpee's help me survive from day to day. If they were to somehow disappear I would be done for.
15. I have a secret crush on Justin Timberlake....except it's not secret because I tell everyone.
16. If I had my way I would never have to change out of my sweats and sweatshirt
17. I want to go to Italy one day
18. I love to laugh
19. I'm terrified of ghosts thanks to Bradley James and all the times we had to watch Ghost Hunters.

20. I am a gangsta g

21. I watch Americas next top model faithfully. I attend ANTM parties weekly, and have stared in an ANTM spoof
22. I've played the piano since I was 12 years old. I remember when I broke my arm when I was 13 I cried because I was so distraught that I wouldn't be able to play for 6 weeks. haha
23. Never Shout Never is amazing to me because one the man is emo, two his songs are mostly acoustic, he has a beautiful voice, and three he has lots of cool tattoos. I know I'm not supposed to like tattoos, but in some situations tattoos are my favorite
24. I can watch a movie 20 times and still cry at the same parts every time
25. I like playing card games. Skip bo, phase ten, crazy rummy, and nerts, just to name a few, are the best
26. I have an addiction to pepsi, which is an understatement
27. Batman is my hero
28. my favorite numbers are 10 and 22. 10 because that was my grandpa's jersey number in every sport he played in high school, and 22 because my 8th grade year my friend tawnie decided that was the number of love and it stuck with me ever since haha
29. I like bowling. It's one of my favorite activities
30. My favorite book of all time is To Kill A Mockingbird
31. I've had two very close friends of mine die in the last 2 and a half years. Allison Brady and Bradley James Ventura. Both very different people, but two people I loved dearly, and two people who have taught me so much about the kind of person I want to become
32. My favorite movie of all time is Dirty Dancing, I have the whole thing memorized...you think I'm joking, but I am not. I can quote the whole thing
33. I love sunday afternoon naps
34. I prefer swimming in a lake over a river or an ocean
35. I like bubble baths
36. I once was a member of the backstreet boys and I have a movie to prove it
37. I have a weird obsession with emo boys
38. I'm not a day person. I love the night. I am like a bat. or some might say possum.
39. I will eat mac and cheese tell the day that I die, it won't have hot dogs in it though unless Kayla lives next door to me
40. I am a sucker for sour cream and cheddar ruffle chips
41. my favorite tv shows are the office and one tree hill. I have seen every single episode of each of their 5 seasons
42. I bite my fingernails when I am in a stressful situation or when I am about to cry and I don't want to
43. When I start a book I usually finish it in two days because I am unable to put it down. Even if I don't enjoy the book very much.
44. I love music.
45. VH1 reality tv sucks me in every time
46. Stargazing is one of the best activities
47. I moved around a lot when I was younger, had extremely different experiences in each place, all collectively made me who I am today
48. Taco Bell is my favorite
49. I'm going to school to be an ultrasound tech, but my ultimate goal is to be a stay at home mom
50. I always say I do things on accident no matter how ridiculous it is to say that
51. I sang Alto in the high school choir
52. Peach Smoothies are my favorite at dutch brothers
53. I love to dance. not like dance team or anything, but free style
54. I have a weakness for boys that play the acoustic guitar
55. I like country music, but only country music that came from the 80s
56. My first kiss was when I was 18. by my barn.
57. I love anything zebra stripped or with peace signs
58. Red Robins is the best because of their honey mustard dipping sauce. my mouth is watering just thinking about it
59. my best therapy is driving in my car, cranking the tunes, and singing at the top of my lungs
60. In college my nickname was possum, but only my close friends called me that haha
61. I love movies. I like to watch new ones, but I love watching my favorites over and over again.
62. My car's name is Bertha. She is my granny wagon and I am proud of it
63. My favorite class in High School was history. I always wished that I lived in the 50s
64. when most people want to go to hawaii or somewhere tropical on their future vacations, I want to go to graceland.
65. I've been in love before
66. I like sudoku puzzles
67. I'm addicted to text messaging
68. There is nothing better than getting a random phone call from a friend you haven't talked to in awhile
69. I could watch CSI: all day and never get bored of it
70. crying gets rid of my stress
71. One day I want to go back on some sort of church history tour again
72. Johnny Castle was my first love
73. I love gangsta g reunions. Kayla Don is the funnest girl ever
74. I've kissed 8 boys in my life
75. I love sleeping in.
76. I was in one play in high school. "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat" it was one of my favorite times in high school
77. I once climbed a mountain. my biggest accomplishment I believe
78. Some of my best and worst memories took place in the same place, Rexburg, ID
79. I'm not a huge animal person, but I love kittens
80. my favorite season is fall. I love when it's starting to get cold, and I have to wear a light jacket outside
81. I like cheesy movies. The cheesier it is the more I love it
82. I always chew gum, Extra Polar Ice is my favorite
83. I work at the Dollar Tree. It can be fun sometimes. I meet a lot of interesting people.
84. I like the twilight series and I'm not afraid to admit it. yes I have a huge poster of edward up in my bedroom
85. I'm a wimp when it comes to the freezing cold
86. I have a strong testimony that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God
87. my mom is my best friend
88. I'm terrified of fish.....
89. I once was a member of the spice girls
90. one of my goals in life is to own a crazy pair of pants. like zebra print or neon blue or something to that effect
91. I've been an elvis fan since I was in the third grade. I love him. He's so cute, love his music, his movies are hilarious too
92. I wish I was a hippy
93. The 80s was the best decade
94. I had two nicknames when I was little. Miss Mew and Darci Dee. Neither have any meaning, and I have no idea where they came from but I have been called that since before I can remember
95. campfires are the best. I love just sitting around the fire with a bunch of people and just talking for hours
96. I want to get married in the Portland Temple. It's my favorite
97. The most beautiful place is where I live. I love oregon with all my heart
98. I like staying in touch with people that meant a lot to me at some point in my life. I am still in touch with people from when I was in the 2nd grade and lived in Canada
99. My favorite pair of jeans are my skinny jeans
100. I like the smell of old books
101. I love my family and friends more than anything in the world

Kayla's visit

Kayla came to visit me!!!!! for 5 whole days!!!!

we had so much fun. The highlight? Going to the beach for two days!!!!
We stayed at with Lyda and Mike. Lyda was my seminary teacher in high school, and they are both just extremely amazing people.
We started the trip in seaside
we went on the tilt-a-whirl. Lots of fun, but we all felt kinda sick afterwards. Plus not one of us had a voice due to intense screaming. Then we walked on the beach. It wasn't sunny, but it was like the perfect temperature.
Not too hot, not too cold.

Next was the astoria tower/column....I'm not exactly sure which one is correct. It was gorgeous though. Such a beautiful view. Totally worth the intense stair climbing.
At about 10 that night Lyda and Mike went to bed. I'm not going to lie I was a little nervous that we were on our way to bed also haha. But thanks to the amazing Aaron Bean we didn't. We went to the beach and had a bonfire instead. It was extremely cool. We were the only ones on the beach, and there were no stars or moon so our fire was the only light for miles. It was a cool but eery feeling. It was was a lot of fun though. I heard some interesting confessions....I'll never tell haha


Next Cape Disappointment. The lighthouse and view was amazing again. The hike up there was probably the most fun though. Aaron and Mike are pretty much the most hilarious boys I know. They kept Kayla and I laughing the whole day.

Our final event was sandcastle building. As Kayla and I prepared to fill up little pales and make a tiny castle the boys started making the biggest sandcastle I have ever attempted to build. It was a fun way to end the trip

I have the most amazing best friend ever. I'm so glad that she came to visit.